Modeled after the Cash For Clunkers program,
you can trade-in your old "clunker" of a grandparent
for FREE Taxpayer Money!
Maximum four grandparents per family.
Must be over 65 years of age. Limitations may apply.
Old grandparents will be destroyed to save the planet.
You will receive a Check from the driver at the time of pick-up!
Please have your "clunker" ready by the scheduled time for pickup.
* Planned Osolecence Center
Note: This program will expire immediately after Obamacare's Single-Payer (Government) system kicks in (2013). The Single-Payer plan will accomplish this important function without the need for compensation.